Florida leads the way in squashing squatters

You’ve seen all the articles, you can’t miss them; it’s just the hottest political issue in the country right now. As a side-effect of Biden’s mass illegal migration, the country is currently experiencing an infestation of house stealing, euphemistically called squatting.

In New York, swarms of border-jumping squatters are busily throwing housewarming parties, and gifting each other lightly-used lamps, assorted home decor, night tables, small items of furniture, toaster ovens, and various small appliances.

(Lol— all Google returns from a search for pictures of squatters is white hippy kids. As if.)

To Biden, the story is industrious, beetle-like, squatting migrants yearning to be free have solved the housing crisis! Now they are ‘productive’ county residents, industriously working on their campaign signs to run for local offices like sheriff and supervisor of elections.

Give us your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free. And your house-stealing squatters. Especially those ones.

Bless the small businessmen! They are just like the guys who pry nests of raccoons out of the attic: Where is government? Our useless, diversity-promoted officials are singing songs to each other about fairness and equity, and basically doing nothing helpful to solve the squatting crisis. But hardworking, tax paying, law-abiding American citizens have been finding other ways to help each other and work around the deadweight politicians.

Personally, I’m working on my new Youtube video, “Three Weird Tricks for Controlling Squatting Pests.”

It would be more accurate to say that local officials are useless everywhere except Florida.

Florida’s new law, effective immediately, lets homeowners call the county sheriff for immediate squatter removal. It made squatting into a second-degree felony, along with intentionally damaging someone else’s home (more than $1,000 worth), and it’s now a first-degree felony to sell or lease someone else’s property. It made forging a fake lease into a first-degree misdemeanor, punishable by up to a year of jail. The bill also makes courts expedite any squatter-related civil proceedings, in case the sheriff can’t figure out who’s telling the truth or something.

The fact the anti-squatter bill passed unanimously revealed much about the country’s unhappy and increasingly implacable mood. I met with a local candidate this week who asked me if I thought the open border was a deliberate strategy cooked up by some secret cabal of our enemies. “Only if they are brain-damaged,” I answered.

If they are buying open-border votes, the political cost of this migrant invasion is already incalculably high and is just getting higher.

The simple way Assemblyman Blumencranz drafted his bill is pretty genius. It makes things very uncomplicated. New York democrats now must publicly choose whether or not house-stealing squatters are, indeed, “tenants” who deserve the same legal protections as people with valid leases.

If Florida is any indication, there may not be much argument.  And if it can happen in New York, it can happen anywhere. Well. Maybe not California. Or Portland. Definitely not Portland.

As we sail on from the sordid squatter story, ask yourself this question: in 250 years of American history, why has squatting never before been this large a problem? Let me know what you think in the comments.

Jeff Childers

Jeff Childers is the president and founder of the Childers Law firm. Jeff interned at the Federal Bankruptcy Court in Orlando, where he helped write several widely-cited opinions. He then worked as an associate with the prestigious firm of Winderweedle, Haines, Ward & Woodman in Orlando and Winter Park, Florida before moving back to Gainesville and founding Childers Law. Jeff served for three years on the Board of Directors of the Central Florida Bankruptcy Law Association. He has also served on the Board of Directors of the Eighth Judicial Bar Association, and on the Rules Committee for the Northern District of Florida Bankruptcy Court. Jeff has published several articles as co-author with Professor William Page of the Levin College of Law (University of Florida) on the topic of anti-trust in the Microsoft case. He also is the author of an article on the topic of Product Liability in the Software Context. Jeff focuses his area of practice on commercial litigation, elections law, and constitutional issues. He is a skilled trial litigator and appellate advocate. http://www.coffeeandcovid.com/


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