No matter what he does, Florida’s Governor can’t stay out of controversy. This time its the wildlife. Yesterday, Newsweek ran an outraged headline about Florida’s bearish new law:
Liberals were badly triggered yesterday when DeSantis signed a new law de-criminalizing the shooting of bears whenever the ursine animals pose an immediate threat to people, pets, or property. It’s not open season; the law requires people to notify the state within 24 hours when it happens, bans the use of bear bait, and forbids taking bear pelts, teeth, claws, or any other part of the animals.
Apparently, we’ve done such a good job of protecting bears that encounters are on the rise, and the bears are having boundary issues:
Knock, knock:
Before yesterday, the law already allowed people to shoot bears in self-defense. The new law only clarified the scope of that self-defense right. As far as I can tell, the anxious, bear-loving critics aren’t pointing to any particularly problematic part of the bill. They just feel that, in general, it is mean to bears, and they worry it will make everyone go crazy and start shooting the furry woodland creatures right and left, like they are clay targets at the county fair.
Leave bears alone, they say, the bears don’t mean any harm.
Bears’ rights activists have vowed to sue, so stay tuned for further developments. Fozzie Bear could not be reached for comment.
In related news, yesterday DeSantis did not sign, but rather vetoed a different bill, which would have banned driving in the left-hand lane. Apparently the Legislators have had it with the left-hand driving.
Under the proposed law, the left-hand lane would be reserved only for passing, turning, and for catching up to other drivers to communicate road rage using colorful hand signals, as necessary.
Okay, I’m kidding about the last one. You can’t do that. But you can still express road rage without going into the left lane, by tailgating within nanometer distance. Or so I am told.
Kudos to DeSantis for protecting us from a slightly out-of-control Legislature that was getting a little too law-happy this week.
We don’t need to criminalize left-hand lane driving, however annoying it can be when a timid driver hogs the left lane at 27 miles per hour, while towing a barely-functional, homemade trailer full of loosely contained yard trash.
Let Florida Man be free.
