A little-covered Florida story revealed the next state to begin pushing back in chemtrail’s federalism war of the states versus the feds. On Thursday, Creative Loafing-Tampa ran an article about Florida’s upcoming legislative session under the headline, “Chemtrails, condo loopholes, and more: Florida lawmakers are already filing bills for the 2025 legislative session.”

The best news was that photogenic Florida Senator Ileana Garcia (R-36) introduced SB 56, an anti-chemtrail bill. If passed, it would prohibit “injection, release, or dispersion of chemicals or apparatus into the atmosphere” that “affect the temperature, the weather, or the intensity of sunlight” in the Sunshine State.

So far, so good.

But later down the story, it mentioned how earlier this year, Tennessee passed a similar geoengineering ban. But then Tennessee’s administrative agencies said the state’s new law was unenforceable, since the federal government has jurisdiction over chemtrails under the 1963 Clean Air Act,, which now seems pretty badly named. Section 233 provides:

“No State or political subdivision thereof may adopt or attempt to enforce any standard respecting emissions of any air pollutant from any aircraft or engine thereof unless such standard is identical to a standard applicable to such aircraft under this part.”

• Section § 233 of the Clean Air Act (CAA), 42 U.S.C. § 7573.

The so-called Clean Air Act provides a comprehensive definition of “air pollutant,” which includes all the usual suspects believed to be involved in geoengineering, which leaves enforcement —or non-enforcement— potentially just to the FAA.

It’s a bizarre turnaround for a ‘clean air’ statute. The law was probably initially passed to provide a uniform standard for what, by definition, is interstate travel, and perhaps to stop California environmentalists from restricting airplane exhaust only to rainbow-colored mango sorbet.

But in our bonkers timeline, under color of the very same “clean air” environmental laws, enthusiastic liberal “environmentalists” are secretly poisoning the air with aluminum nanoparticles in their quixotic efforts to blot out the sun. Not only are they killing us with aluminum poisoning, they are sadly locking in three generations of seasonal affective disorder.

It’s curiously similar to Joe Biden’s badly misnamed Inflation Reduction Act, which put inflation on Lou Ferrigno-level steroids. In 2024, it almost feels like it was never really about clean air at all.

But just wait. Yesterday’s chemtrail news got a lot weirder.

This story is for all you chemtrails conspiracy theorists, the gullible, knuckle-dragging, anti-scientific nitwits who spend far too much time online and believe that lizard people run the Vatican and stuff. So, you might also like to know the federal government is now officially creating “secret” military bases to scan for that thing that doesn’t exist that you dopes believe in.

 From Thursday’s astonishing limited hangout in the New York Times, grandly presented in a fully-animated, long-form, multimedia, magazine-style story:

Get it? We should be thanking them. You can’t make this stuff up. Behold the remarkable first two paragraphs:

Haha, goofy ‘adventurous billionaires!’ What will those silly rascals think of next?

At this point, you might be thinking that some people owe some other people an apology, for calling them dumb MAGA hicks for posting chemtrail memes. But nope, because leftism means never having to say you’re sorry. When the narrative changes, the leftist brain resets itself, loads its new instructions, learns its new vocabulary, and moves on. We’ve always known about geoengineering aerosol plumes, dummies; you guys were babbling about chemtrails, which are totally different and don’t exist. Duh.

But I digress. The special scientists working in the guarded Colorado military base are floating balloons that measure air quality, designed to detect foreign particles or aerosols in the air. Not chemtrails. Consider how the article carefully described the unwanted particles:

According to the dictionary, a “plume” is something “spread out in a shape resembling a feather.” If you can explain to me the difference between calling them a “trail of chemicals” (chemtrails) versus a “plume of aerosols,” I’ll give you a free ticket to North Korea, where your linguistic skills will come in handy.

Give me a break.

Don’t worry, the article mentioned you crazy chemtrail people. Briefly. In a single sentence. Not to give you any credit. It said, “As of now, scientists believe that solar geoengineering has only been attempted at a very small scale, despite the claims of conspiracy theorists.”

In other words, We don’t know how much geoengineering is happening—or even whether it is happening at any significant scale—but we DO know YOU DUMMIES are wrong about how much you think is happening.

Let’s employ some more critical news reading skills. Consider how that dismissive sentence was constructed. It said that scientists believe that solar geoengineering has only been attempted at a very small scale. They BELIEVE — in other words, they have no evidence. It’s an arrogant guess: their sneering beliefs are inherently better than conspiracy theorists’ beliefs because scientists have credentials.

The article is rubbish and doesn’t even make any sense. It starts out claiming the government has suddenly started trying to find a baseline of how much geoengineering is happening, but then claims without evidence the phenomonen it just started studying is definitely only happening at a small scale.

So, it’s not that you conspiracy theorists were right; you were still wrong, because you overestimated the problem that until ten seconds ago the government denied was even happening at all.

So once again, we find ourselves spinning along the classic wheel of government narrative management:

• Stage One—Marginalization (Laughing Denial: “Take Off Your Tinfoil Hat; it isn’t happening, dummy.”)
• Stage Two—Minimization (Stingy Concession: “Okay, Maybe It Is Happening, but only a little and just sometimes.”)
• Stage Three—Normalization (Arrogant Dismissal: “Fine, It’s Happening a Lot, all the time, but it’s still not as bad as you claimed.”)
• Stage Four—Retconning (Gaslighting: “What Are You So Upset About? We always knew it was inevitable, and you should be thanking us for telling you about it.”)
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But why this limited hangout, and why now? Is it to normalize geoengineering, so they can start doing it in the open? Are they worried an incoming Trump Administration could blow the lid off, or even deploy the same techniques against them? Could one of our enemies be getting better at doing it than us?

Who knows. Something has changed, and now liberals have a new permission structure allowing them to talk about chemtrails, so long as they use three words instead of one and call them “plumes of aerosols.”

Ha! I bet Orwell never saw this kind of syntactic gymnastics coming.