Good-bye Red Lobster.  It was a great run!

The story informed readers that the spicy-biscuit and seafood chain is heading into Chapter 11 with significant debt, unfavorable lease terms, management turnover, and poorly-considered strategies including an all-you-can-eat-shrimp promotion last fall resulting in a jumbo financial loss.

Homer Simpson bankrupted the Frying Dutchman before swimming over to Red Lobster

It might be that the “Homer Simpsons” of America gobbled up too much free shrimp. But the CEO of Thai Union Group, the seafood chain’s largest shareholder, implicitly blamed Bidenomics: “The combination of Covid-19 pandemic, sustained industry headwinds, higher interest rates and rising material and labor costs have impacted Red Lobster, resulting in prolonged negative financial contributions to Thai Union and its shareholders,” Thiraphong Chansiri, Thai Union Group’s CEO, said in a statement.

Oh, how I love a good sesquipedalian euphemism. “Prolonged negative financial contributions” just slid into my writer’s journal as a top entry.

Four long words when one short one — “losses” — would have done fine!

That’s one thing neo-Marxism has accomplished, making everything mind-numbingly verbose, bombastic, and pedantic — in other words, it’s just dumb fake intellectualism. Marxists noticed that highfalutin’ edumacated people used big words, so in a classic correlation-causation fallacy, concluded that using big words made them smarter — and now they won’t shut up.

And don’t get me started on the neo-Marxian love affair with Byzantine acronyms. I dare you to find me one single acronym in the entire Constitution or even the Bible.

Anyway, the truth tucked away in the CEO’s overly verbose statement told the real story: the problem is “higher interest rates and rising material and labor costs.”

In other words, the cost of a meal at the seafood chain — shrimp or no shrimp — is skyrocketing and diners are eating at home more often. It’s that simple.

While Biden defenders and corporate media want to blame Red Lobster’s shrimp bonanza, it took me just a moment’s research to figure out there’s nothing new about the chain’s shrimpy promotion:

Granted, like the rest of corporate America, the chain is also probably suffering from an embarrassingly persistent DEI infection, and it may have been a little too promiscuous around the hedge fund markets, but the economy is what’s now making those pre-existing factors excruciatingly painful and bankrupting the chain.

In a close runner up to his first effort, CEO Thiraphong (if that’s his real name) explained that, because of all the losses, Thai Union was dumping the stock, but he used smarter-sounding words: “After detailed analysis, we have determined that Red Lobster’s ongoing financial requirements no longer align with our capital allocation priorities and therefore are pursuing an exit of our minority investment.”

So it’s bankruptcy.

But who’s to blame? Esurient diners? Red Lobster’s terrible management, for tossing free shrimp to gluttonous seafood fans barking like trained seals? Or is the problem actually Biden’s economy?

If you listen to Joe Biden, we are enjoying the strongest American economy in history. But sadly, it seems like nobody is noticing.

How on Earth is the New Republic still in business? But I digress.

Jeff Childers

Jeff Childers is the president and founder of the Childers Law firm. Jeff interned at the Federal Bankruptcy Court in Orlando, where he helped write several widely-cited opinions. He then worked as an associate with the prestigious firm of Winderweedle, Haines, Ward & Woodman in Orlando and Winter Park, Florida before moving back to Gainesville and founding Childers Law. Jeff served for three years on the Board of Directors of the Central Florida Bankruptcy Law Association. He has also served on the Board of Directors of the Eighth Judicial Bar Association, and on the Rules Committee for the Northern District of Florida Bankruptcy Court. Jeff has published several articles as co-author with Professor William Page of the Levin College of Law (University of Florida) on the topic of anti-trust in the Microsoft case. He also is the author of an article on the topic of Product Liability in the Software Context. Jeff focuses his area of practice on commercial litigation, elections law, and constitutional issues. He is a skilled trial litigator and appellate advocate. http://www.coffeeandcovid.com/

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